Coaching as a Model for Pastoral Leadership

My colleague in ministry, Pastor Nate Luong of Trinity Lutheran in St. Peter, MN, and I wrote this article for Word and World during our last semester. Yes, we were able to write an article for publication during senior slide...a true miracle! Coaches and sports fans please read and comment!

Coaching as a Model for Pastoral Leadership

Best,
Tom

Good News in a Tough Text

Mark 10:2-16 is one of those texts that no pastor really wants to preach on because it is a tough text that has Jesus responding to an issue that is very real for us in ways that at first do not appear to be too friendly. In fact they seem offensive. As people of the year 2015 we look at this text from thousands of years ago and we squirm in our seats, or even worse we do not hear or feel the good news, rather we feel like we are less of a human being. This text is hard and I do not claim to have any concrete resolutions to make this text a bright and shiny, happy go lucky text. All I can offer is a response from one who has listened to the broken hearts going through divorce and speak to their experience as the vulnerable being lifted up and cared for by a loving God.

Perhaps the first thing we need to do is to look at this text within its context. First, it was a patriarchal world where men had say over women and were often treated more like property than human beings. Second, marriages were not based on love as it is today, rather marriage was based on property, status, and honor between two families. And lastly, divorce was acceptable in some cases at the time Jesus was speaking as he references a law from way back in the Old Testament when Moses was leading the Israelites (Mark G. Vitalis Hoffman, www.workingpreacher.org/preaching.aspx?commentary_id=2638).

Working from this cultural worldview, divorce was something that had horrible consequences for women: they were marked with disgrace within their families and publicly, they likely now faced economic hardship, and faced a very limited future for her and her children. In a word, divorce made women vulnerable.

Jesus’ admonition against divorce then served one purpose, to protect the vulnerable that are treated as objects. Jesus seeks to move from viewing women as property to that of equal status and worth as God intended in the Garden of Eden where both Adam and Eve were equal partners. For God’s intention in creation was for humanity to be in relationships of mutual dependence and health.

And yet, as someone who had not been directly impacted by divorce, I am left wanting more from this text for our current time and place. It is a similar sentiment shared by those whom I have spoken with who have gone through or are going through divorce. How is this good news today when women share equal rights in this country (or at least they should)? How is this good news to children who may not comprehend what is happening to their family dynamic? How is this good news when it is a mutually decided upon divorce? But really, how it is good news at all?

For the past few weeks in our gospel readings Jesus has included children in some form or another to teach the disciples what it means to follow him. In Mark 7:24-37 we heard about the Syro-Phoenician woman with an ailing daughter who displayed the truth that God’s mission is not to a select people, but to all. And in Mark 9:30-37 we saw Jesus pick up a little child and teach us that whoever welcomes a child in Jesus’ name does indeed welcome God. And then we have today’s text where Jesus tells us that if we do not receive the kingdom of God like we would receive a child, we will never enter it. Why? 

You see children were just about the most vulnerable thing in the ancient world (Matt Skinner, workingpreacher.org/preaching.aspx?commentary_id=401). They were considered not fully developed humans and they had virtually no political standing. In essence, they were not much of anything. For Jesus then to take one on his lap and to say that to welcome the Kingdom of God you must accept this child was a command for us to reach out to those who are suffering, those who are ill, those who are hurting, and those who are vulnerable.

How is this passage good news? I suppose that living out this text will depend upon whether or not it is received as gospel or as another antiquated biblical passage that makes people wonder whether or not the Bible has anything to say to us in 2015. We as the community of believers in a God who gives us love, mercy, and kindness must live out these virtues and more for all of those going through divorce no matter who they are or what has transpired. That is what Jesus is telling his disciples, that they must welcome all people even the most vulnerable and those living within the open wounds of divorce. We are called to love our neighbors, especially those who are vulnerable.

Mark's text confronts us with the issues of the broken, the abandoned, and the vulnerable. Mark places these people right in front of with no escape...this is an issue that must be dealt with as a disciple. Yes, divorce is always a tough and terrible thing because a relationship between two people in some way has been severed. Yet, there are circumstances when staying married is worse than divorce (Bonnie Wilcox, Currents in Theology & Mission, 10/4/15). But here is the good news, God is mindful of all those caught up in this difficult situation so much so that God sent God’s only son to care for them and to show us that they must be tended to because such love and compassion to the vulnerable is what the Kingdom of God is all about.

My hope and prayer is that all people may live into the vision of my current congregation, that all are welcome. Furthermore, I pray that those who are hurting and finding themselves vulnerable in a tumultuous time may find sanctuary among God’s people in this place. If you find yourself in such a situation, you are welcomed, you are loved, and you are embraced by a most merciful and kind God. And that is good news.

Best,

Tom

Be Opened - Mark 7:24-30

My brother lives in Tucson, AZ with his wife. They moved down there from Minnesota because he is a student to become a research psychologist, in other words a college professor. His interest is in bias, stereotypes, and prejudices and how they impact people’s decision making processes and life in general. For example, a few of his friends and him submitted a study to ESPN about the correlation of personal fouls committed by NBA players who entered the league right after high school compared to those who played at least one year of college basketball. Pretty interesting stuff right? Well it is for a sports nerd like me.

But I mention my brother because he also is an assistant football coach at one of the local high schools where he has the privilege to mentor and coach kids who are the product of such bias and injustice. If you are not familiar with the geographical location of Tucson, it is located about 70 miles north of the border shared with Mexico. Now the reality is that there are many illegal immigrants who live in this city, and no matter your political persuasion, the fear of being deported is real. One of my brother’s players is 15 years old, he works 30 hours per week at McDonald’s, lives in an efficiency apartment by himself, plays football, and is a full time high school student. Why doesn’t he go to social services and get placed in a foster care facility? He is an economic refugee that is seeking a better life and so he does what he has to do in order to survive in the U.S.

Stories like his are all over this country and the world. People who are subject to such harsh injustice because of their social and political standing are leery sticking out of the crowd for numerous reasons. But the gravest ill is that they are silenced, their voices are muted, or even worse not heard or willfully ignored. For this young man his silence could be because he doesn’t speak the English language very well or maybe because he is too tired to raise his hand in class from long practices and shifts, or maybe it is because he is scared of being singled out. But it seems to me that he has a lot to teach all of us about life, about faith in the midst of struggle, about loving the neighbor.

Our text from Sunday morning in the Gospel of Mark confronts us with something we do not like to do very much, telling the truth. And the truth is according to Mark, and my brother’s research, is that we are biased creatures that often fear going outside what is comfortable because we fear change, we fear being wrong, we fear other people’s insights, and we fear a whole lot more according to our own personal histories and stories.

But what happens when the truth gets told? Theologian Karoline Lewis says that it is in truth telling our lives are changed from the lies we tell ourselves to maintain the status quo, to that of an entirely changed world.[1] Such a changed world is that of the Kingdom of God. Let’s look back at the text.

A woman who was a Gentile, meaning she was culturally not Jewish, begs on her hands and knees before Jesus to heal her daughter from a demon. And his response…rejection and insult. Yet she did not deem that this was going to be the end of this encounter and possibly the end of her daughter’s life. It is as if she said, “No Jesus, not good enough to simply dismiss me and insult me.You are so much more...” Why would she do this? This woman knew that God’s love, mercy, justice, and redemption is not to be kept for a particular people, it is meant for the entire world whether they are the friends or complete strangers.

It is out of such truth telling of our bias and God’s comprehensive inclusion that comes an awesome opportunity, the chance to live into the gospel, to live into the good news. I think that if there is any good news from this difficult passage, it is that we are called outside of our self-prescribed lies that keep us in an induced stupor of “normalcy.” And instead we are shocked to life by hearing God’s grace through the insight, wisdom, and faith of our neighbors that we call the other.

What does this mean for you and your context at church, at work, or at home? It seems to me that we need to stop pretending that we care about people’s opinions out of striving to be politically correct. We need to care about what others have to say and what they think out of a gospel oriented life. In doing so we need to sit with people we don’t usually sit next to. It means we need to talk to people we don’t usually talk to. It means we need to step outside of the lines we have drawn to box the world away from ourselves. We need to be humbled by the edgy, controversial grace that God gives to the entire world. We need to be opened up.

So who are we overlooking in this community? Who are our biases prohibiting us from listening and seeing? Is it our sisters and brothers on reservations? Is it those whom we deem immoral? Is it those with tattoos and piercings? Is it anyone who is different? The cost of such an attitude is the good news. That’s right, the gospel. Because when we say “no” to being with our neighbors out there in the world, we are saying no to the radical grace of God that seeks out everyone. That is the power of sin that we must fight every day as children of God.

That young man who is working 30 hours a week at McDonald’s, a full time high school student, a football player, who lives alone in an efficiency apartment, and who is seeking a better life…what stories might he have to share with us about his faith in God? My guess is if he told his truth, his life and ours might be changed. But are you willing to listen because he is different or are you going to pretend he doesn’t exist?

We must get out of ourselves and our cozy corners of familiarity. Why? Because God is pushing us into the gospel, the good news, that is spreading all over the world because God’s grace is for all.

-Tom

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[1] Karoline Lewis, “God Said Yes to Me,” Dear Working Preacher, www.workingpreacher.org/craft.aspx?post=3679. 

It's Been a While!

My apologies to whomever might be reading this blog, a lot has happened in life over the past few months. I graduated from Luther Seminary, I got my first call so Emily and I have moved, my sister got married, tons of friends got married, as well as my ordination. Yes, life has been a bit busy.

With all of that said, I am 8 days into my call at Our Savior's Lutheran Church in Devils Lake, ND. I am still getting used to flow of this place and planning for the coming program year. Yes, it has been a busy week. And yet I am absolutely astounded by the generosity and graciousness of the people in this congregation. They have been patient with me as I learn names, they have put up with all of my questions, and they have made this new place feel like a home for Emily and I.

I vow to post much more frequently now that I am semi-settled into a routine!

Peace,
Tom

Now What?

Have you ever felt stuck in between two things? For the past few weeks I have felt like I am living in the "in between time" of school and first call. On the one hand I am done with all of my school work and am set to graduate from Luther Seminary this coming Sunday. But on the other hand I am still figuring out my first call and trying to plan an ordination around a handful of schedules. This in between time is exhausting! I have done so much planning and preparation for some things to be finished and others are still coming up on the horizon leaving me wondering whether or not I am moving. I feel a little stuck.

Last night I was flipping through the channels and I came across the end of one of my favorite Disney films, Finding Nemo. One of the side plots in the overall narrative of Marlin, a clown fish, finding his son Nemo is the epic escape attempts of the fish in a dentist's office. Time and time again they plan and try, but ultimately fail. However, in the very last scene we see all of the aquarium characters finally escape by dirtying up the tank and being placed into bags while the dentist cleaned the tank. To our surprise, the fish rolled themselves out the window and on to the street below to plop down into the ocean. But here's the catch, they still aren't free! Bloat, the puffer fish asks, "Now what?"

Now what?

That is exactly how I feel. Living in the in between time leaves us begging for more. I am done with school, but I want to graduate, I want a first call, I want to move, I want____. You know how this goes. The story of the disciples is no different. After the death of Jesus on Good Friday they were left in a difficult situation not knowing what to do. And then Easter Sunday happened, resurrection happened. It is from this new reality that they went out into the world, empowered by the Holy Spirit, to proclaim the good news of God.

But getting to that other side is difficult, it takes faith. Faith does not mean that the journey will be short, nor does it mean that it will be easy. Joyce Meyer says, "faith is courage that has said its prayers." But it is so much more than that. Faith is God's free gift to all people, and it makes even the most horrible situations tolerable because faith makes God known.

So as I continue to wait in this in between time, I find myself emboldened by that faith God has given. And when you find yourself in a similar situation, may you too find that faith abounds!

Peace,
Tom

Filled, Gifted, and Sent

This past weekend I was in up in Fargo, ND for the Eastern North Dakota synod assembly as well as for a few interviews for first call. I was apprehensive about going because it was not only new to me, but also because it was a marker that ordained ministry is finally becoming a reality! I am a mixed bag of emotions as I am excited to be done with school (senior slide is reaching its apex), I am sad that I will have to leave my congregations, but I am also feeling confident that God is leading me into a future that will allow Emily and I to flourish as a couple, as professionals, as coaches, and also as people of God.

While I would like to think that this confidence originated in self-reflection and prayer, it did not. It came from the synod assembly where we heard keynote speakers, Bible studies, addresses from Bishop Terry Brandt and other church wide officials, worship, and more. Our theme was, "Filled with Fire, Gifted to Grow, and Sent by the Spirit." It was in all of these events surrounding this theme that I realized that indeed the Holy Spirit was stirring up within me the new creation of our baptismal identity. In my case it is ordained leadership. As I move forward along this journey I am filled with the fire of the Spirit, gifted to grow into my vocations, and sent to be God's hands, feet, voice, and presence to all of creation.

There are two Spirit filled questions I would like to share with you all that have fueled me to this state of being:

Are we called to be leaders of an institution or leaders of a movement?

Are we settled or are we sent?

Both of these are related, yet different. The first was asked to Bishop Brandt by the Chicago Area Synod Bishop Wayne Miller when Brandt asked for advice. This question forces us to ask if we are keeping alive building and traditions that have little to do with a new and changing world. It asks us if we are keeping a ho-hum status or if we are being a life changing presence, the good news of Christ. If we are the church, here and now, we need to be leaders of a movement. A movement that proclaims life and death, the good news of Christ, and the restoration of creation

The second was asked by the keynote speaker, Rev. Nancy Nyland (Director of Evangelical Mission for the Indiana-Kentucky Synod). It wonders in our leading of the church and in the life of discipleship if we are pushed outside of our contextual comforts, past our own horizons if you will, and into the world or not. It seems to me that we are indeed being sent into the groaning of creation that cries out to God in service and in love. When we find ourselves settled we must discern whether we are ignoring the Spirit's luring into the needs of creation. When we find ourselves sent we are filled with the Spirit and gifted to act.

May you find yourself filled, gifted, and sent this Easter season.

Peace,
Tom

Expect the Unexpected

In the Oscar award winning film from 1982, E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial, we see the personification of delight and happiness. In the movie, the alien named E.T. is accidentally left behind by some of his fellow space travelers. However, he befriends a 10 year old boy named Elliot who helps him try to create a device to “phone home.” Sadly, a special government task force tracks E.T. down and he appears to die from some a sickness while in their captivity. As Elliot went to mourn E.T. in his freezing cold tomb, he discovered the unexpected. E.T. is alive. And Elliot’s response is to shout with elation and smile incessantly. And what is the first thing he does? He goes and tells his older brother who shares the same reaction to the good news. He’s alive!

How do you rejoice for all of your blessings? How do you rejoice in the resurrection? In a sense this scene from E.T. is exactly what Mary and Mary do in Matthew 28:1-10. Such joy was to be shared with the disciples according to the angel’s message as well as Jesus’ instruction. You see, the focus of the resurrection is always moving forward, always interacting with others, always rejoicing. We too as disciples are called to tell others of the unexpected story of Jesus Christ.

Perhaps running around from door to door or telling everyone we meet about the greatest story ever told may not be the best way to share the good news in our culture. Maybe a better way is to translate Jesus’ ministry, death, and resurrection into terms people can understand. Maybe we can do this by using the stories of our lives to illustrate our faith, or maybe we pull the narratives from the silver screen. Either way, the unexpected truth remains, Jesus is alive and well! Jesus went to death on the cross and conquered the grave! What great news! So our task as disciples is just like that of Mary and Mary, to speak the good news to all that will hear; to link transitions in their life to the greatest story ever told; where we get to expect the unexpected. He’s alive. Jesus Christ is risen today. Alleluia! 

Easter Blessings

-Tom